From Independence to Interdependence
September 15, 2025

As we help our children learn to navigate the world, we are supporting their journey toward independence. In Montessori, we often emphasize the importance of independence. But did you know that independence isn’t the end goal?!


Our Children’s Journey 


Dr. Maria Montessori observed four distinct planes of development, each representing a stage in the human journey toward greater maturity, independence, and ultimately, interdependence. At each stage, children have specific developmental needs and characteristics, and our educational approach evolves to meet them.


A core element of Montessori education is the prepared environment, a carefully designed space that gives children the freedom to move, make choices, and act with purpose. This freedom within limits supports the development of a child’s personality. We become who we are through movement and choice. Independence, then, is not just about being able to do something alone; it is also about being able to do something independently. It’s about becoming oneself.


Yet, as humans, we don’t exist in isolation. We live amongst others, and in order to live effectively in community with others, we must first be able to function independently. Put another way, before we can offer help to others or make ourselves useful, we must first meet our own needs.


First Plane (Birth to Age 6): The Formation of the Individual


From birth, children begin the work of self-construction. During this stage, children are focused on adapting to their immediate environment. Infants and toddlers explore freely using movement and their senses. 


This stage is all about gaining functional independence. By the end of this period, children can walk, talk, eat, and care for their bodies. They no longer rely completely on adults for basic needs and are ready to take their place in a social setting. And a Montessori classroom is just the place!


Dr. Montessori referred to this period as the “social embryo,” when children are just beginning to participate in group life and shape their sense of self.


In the classroom, we offer children endless opportunities to gain independence, such as zipping their own jackets, pouring their own water, and preparing a snack. We also provide opportunities to care for others and the environment. Once children master the skill of pouring, they can use it to beautify the classroom by pouring water into a vase for flower arranging. After learning to sweep, they’ll notice a spill and take initiative to clean it up. When a friend needs help with their coat, they’re eager to step in and assist.


Caring for oneself and for others lays the foundation for a life of contribution.


Second Plane (Ages 6–12): Intellectual and Moral Independence


In the second stage of development, the focus shifts from physical to intellectual exploration. Children begin to ask big questions: “Why?” “How?” “What if?” Their imagination and reasoning take center stage, and their curiosity is boundless.


Socially, this is a period of intense peer interaction. Children form close friendships, work collaboratively, and begin sorting out moral questions of right and wrong. Montessori described this as a “practice society,” a safe space where children rehearse the roles and responsibilities of adulthood.


While the first-plane child says, “Help me do it myself,” the second-plane child says, “Help me think for myself.” Their independence becomes more abstract. They’re forming their own ideas, solving problems, and taking responsibility for their learning and behavior.


And in this intellectual and social freedom, we see the seeds of interdependence. Children might notice a peer struggling with a math problem and offer support. Or they might mediate a conflict between friends, using logic and empathy to help everyone feel heard. Their developing independence becomes a tool for service and connection.


Third Plane (Ages 12–18): Social and Economic Independence


In adolescence, the need for independence takes a new form. Teenagers want to understand their role in society and make real contributions to the world. They’re seeking both social and economic independence, and they need real, meaningful work to meet this developmental drive.


Montessori adolescent programs are designed to meet this need. Adolescents might run a small business, grow food, engage in community service, or take on leadership roles. These experiences enable them to apply academic skills in real-world contexts, from writing marketing plans to managing finances and collaborating with others. In doing so, they are learning how to live and work in a complex society.


This is the point at which all earlier experiences of independence converge. Teens apply their knowledge and skills in the service of others. They’re discovering what they can offer the world and who they are becoming in the process.


Outcomes: Maturity, Independence, and Interdependence


Ultimately, Montessori education supports three interconnected outcomes: maturity, independence, and interdependence.


Maturity goes beyond academic achievement. It’s the holistic development of a person capable of making a meaningful contribution to the world. Independence, evolving across each stage of development, is essential to this process. But independence is not the final step. True maturity culminates in interdependence, the natural, collaborative state of human life.


Why This Matters


Every act of independence, from an infant grasping a rattle to a teen managing a group project, is a step toward full participation in human society. These conquests matter.


So, when your toddler insists on putting on their shoes, when your eight-year-old argues about fair rules, or when your teenager wants to solve a conflict without your help, pause. Remember that these are not just frustrating moments. They are signs that your child is on the right path.


Because in Montessori, independence is not the goal. It is the means toward interdependence and a life of meaningful work, mutual respect, and connection to others.


Come visit us here in Oak Park to see independence and interdependence in action!


October 27, 2025
Since the pandemic, we can find ourselves carrying new or heightened worries about our children’s social lives. We can have concerns about whether our children “lost time” with peers during critical developmental years. Or maybe it’s worry about shyness, reluctance in groups, or how screen time may have replaced face-to-face play. Even now, long after schools and activities have reopened, it’s common for anxiety to surface: Is my child making enough friends? Are they socially behind? Why We Feel This Way The truth is, these concerns are natural. COVID disrupted our social connections, and children being with other children is an important part of childhood. For months (and for some even years), daily opportunities to share space, work through conflict, and experience the joy of play were limited. Add in the reality of increased screen use, the culture of comparison amplified by social media, and children who may show hesitations around groups, and it’s easy to see why we are carrying this extra layer of worry. What Montessori Reminds Us Montessori provides us with a helpful perspective: growth is not lost, it is simply unfolding in its own time. Children are incredibly resilient. Social development isn’t a race, and there isn’t one perfect timeline. Just as each child learns to walk or read at their own pace, children find their own paths into friendships and community life. How We Can Support Children (and Ourselves) So, what can we do to ease our own (and our children’s) anxiety while supporting their social growth? First, remember that depth of connection matters more than numbers. A child with one or two genuine friendships has a strong foundation. In Montessori classrooms, we often see that meaningful, sustained interactions carry more value than a large peer group. Second, provide opportunities for natural interaction rather than overscheduling. Time at the park, family gatherings, or small playdates often offer more authentic growth than tightly managed activities. In the classroom, children practice collaboration daily, from sharing materials to working on group projects. Third, support independence. After COVID, it’s natural to want to step in quickly if our child seems uncomfortable socially. But small moments of trust—like letting our children introduce themselves, ask to join a game, or resolve a conflict—help them build confidence and resilience. Finally, model calm and social grace. Children absorb how we approach social situations. When they see adults showing openness and curiosity, they are more likely to approach peers with the same ease. Partnering with Teachers Your child’s teacher is also a valuable partner. Montessori guides closely observe children’s social interactions and can offer concrete reassurance: “I noticed your child inviting a friend to join her work,” or “He showed patience while sharing materials today.” These insights often show growth that may not be as apparent outside the classroom. Supporting Social Growth at Home Simple, practical activities in our children’s lives can make a big difference. Hosting a “work together” playdate, for instance, shifts the focus from entertainment to shared purpose. Children might bake bread, build with blocks, or create art together. These collaborative activities naturally encourage conversation, cooperation, and problem-solving, giving children structured opportunities to navigate relationships. Practicing grace and courtesy at home also builds confidence. Small role-plays, like how to join a game or politely declining an invitation, help children learn the social scripts they need. Learning how to insert themselves into play: “What are you playing? I’ll join too!” or “No, thank you. I’d like to work alone right now,” are examples that may seem small but make a significant difference when children encounter peers in real settings. Family game nights are another excellent tool. Cooperative board games, memory games, or card games teach turn-taking, handling winning and losing, and joyful connection. Games provide low-stakes opportunities to practice critical social skills like patience, negotiation, and flexibility. Finally, spending time in community spaces offers invaluable real-world practice. Visits to the library, farmers’ market, or nature center allow children to engage in everyday interactions, such as greeting a librarian, asking a vendor a question, or navigating shared space with peers. These experiences help children build confidence and fluency in social settings. Moving Forward with Confidence It’s understandable to feel anxious about our child’s social life after such a collective disruption. But rest assured: children are not permanently “behind.” With trust, time, and supportive environments, children continue developing the skills of friendship, collaboration, and community. Montessori reminds us that growth is steady and ongoing. Our role is to provide the space, opportunity, and confidence children need to thrive socially. When we step back and trust the process, we discover that children are, in fact, developing social competence. Come schedule a tour of our classroom environments in Oak Park, IL to see how Montessori fosters a lasting sense of confidence and a deep form of belonging.
Human Tendencies: Why Montessori Still Feels So Relevant
October 6, 2025
From curiosity to self-control, Montessori aligns with the human tendencies that help children grow, adapt, and flourish.