Feeling Heard: The Practice of Active Listening
July 14, 2025

Have you had the experience of your child exploding in frustration when you try to answer a question? This can manifest in different ways. When you try to answer, your child may react or even shout, "Stop interrupting me!" This can feel baffling, especially if we don’t seem to be interrupting at all. Your child asks a question. You answer. 


Looking Behind the Behavior


Children often communicate in ways that reveal deeper needs. Their words can be loud, reactive, or difficult to interpret. But often, it is not the content of our response that causes tension—it’s the speed, the timing, and the presence behind it.


In many cases, we are already forming our responses before a child finishes speaking. This habit, while unintentional, can make our children feel unseen or unheard. What they may need instead is a thoughtful pause—space between the question and our reply. This kind of mindful interaction can be especially meaningful in moments of stress or conflict.


Space for Ideas to Breathe


We use a similar approach in Montessori classrooms. As adults, we strive to pause after someone speaks. This space allows ideas to breathe and encourages deeper listening. Over time, as we practice this technique, we become more aware of body language, emotional tone, and unspoken cues. We learn to listen with the intention of understanding, not just responding.


In both classrooms and homes, this practice of active listening can significantly shift the tone of relationships. Active listening involves pausing, tuning in, and reflecting back what the speaker has expressed. It communicates, “I hear you. I understand what you’re feeling.” This doesn’t mean we need to agree with every statement, but rather we are validating the speaker’s emotions and experiences.


Active Listening in Action


When we respond with active listening, our children often become calmer and more open to cooperation. For example, if your child asks, “Can I watch a movie?” rather than offering an immediate yes or no, we might pause and say, “It sounds like you’d really like to watch something. I understand how fun that can be. I’m not willing to do that today because we already had a movie night last night.” Your child might not like the response, but when we practice active listening, children tend to be calmer and less prone to react emotionally. The boundary remains firm, but your child’s feelings are acknowledged.


In more emotionally charged moments, active listening can also help de-escalate conflict. For example, if your child yells, “I hate you!” a simple response, such as “It sounds like you’re really angry with me,” can validate their emotions and help your child identify feelings that may seem complicated or hard to name. On calmer days, we can allow our children to explore even more deeply by asking follow-up questions, such as, “Is there more?” This can lead to an even deeper connection and emotional awareness.


Deeper, More Cooperative Relationships


Children, like all people, want to feel heard. When we slow down, listen with intention, and respond with empathy, relationships deepen. The result is not only fewer emotional outbursts but also more goodwill, cooperation, and mutual respect. Active listening becomes more than a communication tool. It becomes a way of honoring each other’s humanity.


To experience active listening in action and see its impact on our children, schedule a tour to visit our school!


October 27, 2025
Since the pandemic, we can find ourselves carrying new or heightened worries about our children’s social lives. We can have concerns about whether our children “lost time” with peers during critical developmental years. Or maybe it’s worry about shyness, reluctance in groups, or how screen time may have replaced face-to-face play. Even now, long after schools and activities have reopened, it’s common for anxiety to surface: Is my child making enough friends? Are they socially behind? Why We Feel This Way The truth is, these concerns are natural. COVID disrupted our social connections, and children being with other children is an important part of childhood. For months (and for some even years), daily opportunities to share space, work through conflict, and experience the joy of play were limited. Add in the reality of increased screen use, the culture of comparison amplified by social media, and children who may show hesitations around groups, and it’s easy to see why we are carrying this extra layer of worry. What Montessori Reminds Us Montessori provides us with a helpful perspective: growth is not lost, it is simply unfolding in its own time. Children are incredibly resilient. Social development isn’t a race, and there isn’t one perfect timeline. Just as each child learns to walk or read at their own pace, children find their own paths into friendships and community life. How We Can Support Children (and Ourselves) So, what can we do to ease our own (and our children’s) anxiety while supporting their social growth? First, remember that depth of connection matters more than numbers. A child with one or two genuine friendships has a strong foundation. In Montessori classrooms, we often see that meaningful, sustained interactions carry more value than a large peer group. Second, provide opportunities for natural interaction rather than overscheduling. Time at the park, family gatherings, or small playdates often offer more authentic growth than tightly managed activities. In the classroom, children practice collaboration daily, from sharing materials to working on group projects. Third, support independence. After COVID, it’s natural to want to step in quickly if our child seems uncomfortable socially. But small moments of trust—like letting our children introduce themselves, ask to join a game, or resolve a conflict—help them build confidence and resilience. Finally, model calm and social grace. Children absorb how we approach social situations. When they see adults showing openness and curiosity, they are more likely to approach peers with the same ease. Partnering with Teachers Your child’s teacher is also a valuable partner. Montessori guides closely observe children’s social interactions and can offer concrete reassurance: “I noticed your child inviting a friend to join her work,” or “He showed patience while sharing materials today.” These insights often show growth that may not be as apparent outside the classroom. Supporting Social Growth at Home Simple, practical activities in our children’s lives can make a big difference. Hosting a “work together” playdate, for instance, shifts the focus from entertainment to shared purpose. Children might bake bread, build with blocks, or create art together. These collaborative activities naturally encourage conversation, cooperation, and problem-solving, giving children structured opportunities to navigate relationships. Practicing grace and courtesy at home also builds confidence. Small role-plays, like how to join a game or politely declining an invitation, help children learn the social scripts they need. Learning how to insert themselves into play: “What are you playing? I’ll join too!” or “No, thank you. I’d like to work alone right now,” are examples that may seem small but make a significant difference when children encounter peers in real settings. Family game nights are another excellent tool. Cooperative board games, memory games, or card games teach turn-taking, handling winning and losing, and joyful connection. Games provide low-stakes opportunities to practice critical social skills like patience, negotiation, and flexibility. Finally, spending time in community spaces offers invaluable real-world practice. Visits to the library, farmers’ market, or nature center allow children to engage in everyday interactions, such as greeting a librarian, asking a vendor a question, or navigating shared space with peers. These experiences help children build confidence and fluency in social settings. Moving Forward with Confidence It’s understandable to feel anxious about our child’s social life after such a collective disruption. But rest assured: children are not permanently “behind.” With trust, time, and supportive environments, children continue developing the skills of friendship, collaboration, and community. Montessori reminds us that growth is steady and ongoing. Our role is to provide the space, opportunity, and confidence children need to thrive socially. When we step back and trust the process, we discover that children are, in fact, developing social competence. Come schedule a tour of our classroom environments in Oak Park, IL to see how Montessori fosters a lasting sense of confidence and a deep form of belonging.
Human Tendencies: Why Montessori Still Feels So Relevant
October 6, 2025
From curiosity to self-control, Montessori aligns with the human tendencies that help children grow, adapt, and flourish.